I run a K-pop blog so ideally I would consistently write about the news and new music in the world of K-pop. However, this is apparently not the case because instead of listening to the new installment of The Story of Light (I know, I know, I’m a terrible Shawol) I’ve been watching live stages.

Mind you, I meant to write a whole piece about Yubin’s solo album, because I adore her but I got a little caught up getting a million things ready for my wedding so I just let myself enjoy the music video rather than pressure myself to write out something coherent about how amazing she looked and sounded.

Then I promised myself that I was going to listen to the next installment of The Story of Light and I did watch the MV! But that was as far as I got before I gave up on finding enough time to listen to the whole album and write eloquently about it.

Instead, I watched live stages.

I watched live stages the way I used to at the beginning of my K-pop obsession. I watched the same song performed over and over again in different outfits all in a row. I was three live stages deep into a Shinee fix when I switched over to Lady by Yubin. Then I worked my way back to Shinee for All Day All Night.

It was such a beautiful de-stressor.

I was transported back to a time when my main worries were getting to class on time and finishing up term papers. I thought about the nights when I would force my eyes to stay open past three AM so I could watch comebacks live on shoddy streams. I remembered discovering new groups through the power of the YouTube wormhole and memorizing new names on spammy K-Pop profile sites.

I forgot to appreciate the live stage for all its glory. Like, sure, their mics sometimes don’t work. And, yes, sometimes you can hear the screeching of the audience more clearly than the actual artist. But it makes you feel like a part of a community. And it gives you a sense of belonging that you can’t get any other way except to physically go to a concert. There’s a beauty to it that is unmatched.

So I’ll forgive myself.

I’ll forgive myself for that afternoon spent on live stages and appreciate that they exist at all. I will allow myself to add them to my Watch Later and then cycle through them without stopping. But only when the mood strikes me and nostalgia draws me back. Until then, I’ll go back to thinking about table settings and guest lists.

What’s your number one K-Pop de-stressor? Or do you have something else entirely that helps you relax that has nothing to do with K-Pop? Leave me a comment and let me know!